Develop an Understanding of Your Behavior In Conflict Situations
CONFLICT STYLES SURVEY
HOW TO PROCEED… Please read carefully.
In your organization you are active in one or more committees, groups or departments which are responsible for signification programs. The group(s) to which you belong must meet regularly to make decisions. In addition, all group members must assume responsibilities for carrying out the decisions.
Following are twelve situations you encounter; In some of the situations you are the group’s leader, in others you are not the leader. For each situation you have five possible behavioral responses. Please study each situation and the possible responses carefully, then CIRCLE THE LETTER OF THE RESPONSE which you think would most closely describe your behavior response to the situation.
As you complete the survey, please remember this is NOT a test. There are no right or wrong responses. The survey will be helpful to you only to the extent that you circle the responses which would be most characteristic of your conflict management behavior in that particular situation.
CIRCLE ONLY ONE CHOICE FOR EACH SITUATION!
SITUATION #1:
YOU HEAD A TASK FORCE APPOINTED TO PLAN A LARGE CONFERENCE. ONE MEMBER HAS IDEAS VERY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE SUPPORTED BY THE REST OF THE GROUP. HE/SHE REFUSES TO GIVE EVEN A LITTLE BIT. TIME IS RUNNING OUT.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Meet privately with the differing member to let him/her know you were not angry because of his/her position and encourage him/her, for the sake of future relationships, to be more flexible.
- Ask the differing member to state why his/her ideas would result in a better conference. If he/she was unable to convince the group you would urge him/her to go along with the group’s plan.
- State that as a leader of the group you do not want to make a unilateral decision, and call for a secrete vote on the two plans.
- Point out that much time had been spent in an attempt to resolve the difference and, since the majority of the group was in agreement, move ahead with the group’s plan.
- Ask the differing member to list points of disagreement with the group’s plan, and to define why his/her ideas would result in a better conference. Then you would provide a process for the group to reevaluate its own plan in light of this information.
SITUATION #2:
FROM YOUR POINT OF VIEW THE CHAIRPERSON OF YOUR COMMITTEE HAS INAPPROPRIATELY USED HIS/HER POSITION TO INFLUENCE A DECISION WITH WHICH YOU STRONGLY DISAGREE.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Point out your perceptions to the group encouraging others to also reflect on the process by which the decision was reached. Press for policies to prohibit future inappropriate use of the chair’s position.
- Let the chairperson railroad the decision and simply let the group live with the results, since they allowed the chairperson such freedom.
- Challenge the inappropriate behavior of the chairperson and move for a recall of the decision.
- State your perception and ask the chairperson to defend the behavior. If after the defense you were still convinced the chair’s position had been used to influence the decision, you would move for a recall of the decision.
- Rather than putting the chairperson “on the spot” in front of the group, you would bite your tongue and keep your feelings to yourself.
SITUATION #3:
YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR A PROGRAM WHICH IS STRONGLY SUPPORTED THROUGHOUT THE ORGANIZATION. YOU HAVE ANNOUNCED YOUR PLANS FOR THE COMING YEAR AND ARE BEING STRONGLY OPPOSED BY ANOTHER GROUP WHOSE OWN PROGRA HAS PROVEN INEFFECTIVE.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Prepare convincing information to support the need for your program ideas, communicate this to the entire organization, and proceed with your program as planned.
- Feel your long-term relationship to the opposing group was more important than your program plans, and withdraw your plans.
- Welcome the conflict as an opportunity to identify shared concerns and goals, and to promote better working relationships with the opposing group.
- Attempt to find a solution that everyone could live with, by asking for an opinion by the top officials.
- Meet with the group to explain your rationale for planning your program, inquire into the reasons for their opposition, and seek middle-ground agreements.
SITUATION #4:
YOUR GROUP HAS MET OFTEN TO WORK ON PLANS FOR THE COMING YEAR. THERE IS MUCH DISAGREEMENT BETWEEN CERTAIN MEMBERS. YOU ARE AWARE CONFLICT IS BREWING.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Encourage the group to settle the differences so they might not interfere with the planning.
- Instruct the parties to get the differences out on the table in order that the entire group might search for mutually acceptable solutions.
- Tell them they don’t all have to like each other, but they must work together to get the planning done.
- Reduce the tensions by allowing more time for informal conversation and schedule more breaks during the meetings to allow persons to get away from the work for a few minutes.
- Try to avoid open confrontation by sensing where persons are in relation to the issues and steering the discussion to consider middle group alternatives.
SITUATION #5:
YOU SERVE ON A STAFF OF THREE PERSONS. THE HEAD OF THE STAFF IS INSENSITIVE AND AUTOCRACTIC. THE OTHER MEMBER IS VERY ANGRY. IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HOSTILITIES WILL OCCUR BETWEEN THEM.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Tell them their behavior is interfering with staff effectiveness, insisting they lay their personal animosities aside and begin putting their energies into productive activity.
- Remain silent whenever they begin to argue, hoping they would work it out, or that the angry staff member would be able to fend for himself/herself.
- Encourage them to lay their hostilities aside since conflict of this intensity might leave deep personal scars.
- Try to avoid outright, hostile confrontation by emphasizing the need to reach agreement on roles and responsibilities that everyone could live with.
- Share your observations of their behavior, ask each of them to state their own opinions, and press for a redefinition of working relationships to reduce the hostilities.
SITUATION #6:
AFTER MUCH CONFLICT, TWO GROUPS WITHIN THE CONGREGATION HAVE DEADLOCKED OVER PROPOSED USE OF SOME OF THE CHURCH BUILDING. YOU HAVE BEEN REQUESTED TO MEET WITH THEM TO ASSIST IN BREAKING THE DEADLOCK.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Consider both sides of the agreement before stating your solution to the problem.
- Encourage an open airing of their feelings and attempt to get the group to decide on a compromise plan everyone could live with.
- Encourage them to work through their differences, being careful not to cause unnecessary pain for themselves or the congregation.
- Remind them that as an “outsider” you actually could do very little to resolve the problem, but you were willing to help in whatever way you could.
- Lead a process to allow airing of the differences, and to search for a mutually satisfactory alternative.
SITUATION #7:
INFLUENTIAL MEMBERS HAVE BECOME DISSATISFIED WITH YOUR LEADERSHIP AND ARE INSISTING YOU RESIGN. SOME ARE THREATENING TO LEAVE IF YOU DO NOT. OTHERS ARE SUPPORTING YOU PRIVATELY, BUT ARE TAKING NO PUBLIC STAND.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Inform the group you have no intention of resigning, and you want an open airing of the grievances in other that some middle group may be reached.
- Assume the public silence of some members indicates consent, and not wanting the group to lose any members, you would resign.
- Determine the number demanding your resignation, and of your silent supporters. Having decided the majority was not calling for your resignation, you would announce your intention to stay.
- Go to those opposing you to tell them you still care about them, and do whatever you could to restore good relationships.
- Arrange a meeting with your opponents and supporters to discuss and search for ways to reduce the tensions and restore working relationships.
SITUATION #8:
YOUR SECRETARY, A RESPECTED MEMBER OF YOUR CHURCH, HAS WORKED FOR YOU FOR ONE YEAR. THE QUALITY OF WORK IS VERY UNSATISFACTORY. YOU ARE GETTING A GROWING NUMBER OF COMPLAINTS.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Encourage your secretary to identify anything in the office situation that may be adding to the problem, and agree upon steps to correct the situation.
- Increase compliments for tasks satisfactorily done while gently pointing out the trouble spots.
- Live with the situation a while longer, hoping your secretary would begin to catch on to the office work.
- Point out the problems with work performance, and if after a reasonable time it was still unsatisfactory, you would fire him/her.
- State your disapproval with the performance asking for your secretary’s help to outline areas in which change was necessary, and steps to bring about improved performance.
SITUATION #9:
YOUR GROUP IS CARRYING ON A VERY EFFCTIVE PROGRAM. SOME MEMBERS ARE ADVOCATING CERTAIN CHANGES BUT OTHERS ARE DECLARING THE CHANES WILL WEAKEN THE PROGRAM. TENSIONS ARE RISING. YOU HAVE NO STRONG FEELINGS EITHER WAY.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Encourage the group to settle their differences, being careful no one is hurt in the process.
- Listen to all sides of the issues before deciding what steps to take to resolve the conflict.
- Keep the opposing groups from outright confrontation by suggesting middle-of-the-road alternatives. If this failed, you would establish group rules for avoiding deadlocks.
- Bring the opposing sides together, define the issues as you see them, and suggest a process for resolving the conflict.
- Allow the group to settle the matter on its own.
SITUATION #10:
A CLOSE FRIEND WITH WHOM YOU WORK IS PUSHING FOR A DECISION WHICH YOU BELIEVE IS POTENTIALLY DAMAGING OF THE ENTIRE ORGANIZATION.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Demonstrate your unhappiness with his/her position by refusing to discuss the matter at all.
- Refrain from stating how strongly you disagree, hoping he/she would change without being pushed to do so.
- Openly express your disagreement, and together search to find a mutually acceptable position.
- State your position on the matter attempting to negotiate a position both of you could live with.
- State exactly why you think his/her position is unreasonable and dangerous, urging him/her to change the position.
SITUATION #11:
YOU ARE A MEMBER OF A TASK FORCE APPOINTED TO PLAN A LARGE CONFERENCE. YOU HAVE IDEAS VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THE GROUP, AND ARE CONVINCED YOUR PLAN WILL RESULT IN A BETTER CONFERENCE.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Disagree but not argue since you were one against many. Neither would you feel obligated to publicly support their plan.
- Encourage the group to review both plans, identify points of agreement and of disagreement, and press for alternatives to reflect the best features of both.
- Use all the influence you had in the group to get your ideas incorporated into the final plan.
- Outline your disagreements with the group’s ideas and offer to join with them in building a compromise plan.
- Go along with their ideas not wanting to block the group’s work simply because you were not personally pleased with their plan.
SITUATION #12:
YOU HEAD A COMMITTEE WHOSE EFFECTIVENESS DEPENDS UPON THE COOPERATION OF ANOTHER GROUP ENGAGED IN POWER AND AUTHORITY STRUGGLES WITH TOP LEADERS. THE CONFLICT IS EFFECTING THEIR PROGRAM, AND YOURS.
You Would: (Circle One)
- Bring all parties together to discuss the situation, seeing to it that the needs of your group were included in any agreement which was negotiated between the other group and top leaders.
- Strengthen your own relationship with the other group by expressing understanding to their position, which at the same time being careful not to hurt relationships with top leaders.
- Stay out of the conflict by structuring your program to be less dependent upon the support of the other group.
- Bring the parties together to explain how the conflict was effective your own program, and offer to mediate a mutually acceptable resolution of the conflict.
- Meet with the group to point out that your own program was being adversely affected by their conflict with top leaders, and press for immediate solutions to the problem.
